Former Australian of the Year and family violence prevention advocate Rosie Batty has called on the federal government to increase funding for gendered violence prevention and make it more consistent.

Speaking at the National Press Club, Ms Batty urged the Albanese government to act on lessons from the emergency response to the pandemic and treat violence against women and children with the same urgency.

On February 12, 2014, Ms Batty's son Luke was murdered by his father.

A decade on, one woman a week is killed by a current or former partner.

More than 94 per cent of perpetrators are men.

Ms Batty said a key part of stopping such violence before it happens is instilling a sense of compassion, thoughtfulness and kindness in men rather than fostering attitudes that lead to abuse.

Treat violence with more urgency

The federal government currently has an action plan in place to end violence against women and children "in a generation".

Ms Batty highlighted how government and authorities can act fast to house and support people during emergencies like the pandemic, but need to do the same for gendered violence.

"What we have done, everything we learned, everything we solved, back," she said referring to increased welfare payments and emergency housing arrangements during the pandemic.

"Take the money, take off the accommodation.

"It's really, really disappointing to see what a compassionate — well, what a necessary solution that we could find, and then to see that reversed was quite sad."

When asked what the federal government would need to do to show they were serious about matching their commitment with funding, Ms Batty asked advocates in the audience what they would like to see which was met with a call of "don't spend it on submarines!"

"Very good answer, the threat of terrorism is more likely to occur in our own home," Ms Batty said.

'How many more?'

Ms Batty said transforming Australian culture is a long game, but not impossible.

"How many more preventable deaths will we permit?

"How many more, before we realise how deep disrespect towards women and children runs in our culture?"

She said it's essential to tackle the root causes of gendered and family violence: ingrained sexist attitudes that lead to abuse.

"There's one hard truth staring all of us in the face – nearly everyone who has experienced violence in this country, mostly women and children, did so at the hands of a man.

"We must hold those perpetrators to account, yes, but we must also instil in our boys something better than this narrow and damaging definition we use to describe a 'real man'.

"This definition tells our sons that they must keep their fears to themselves or be an outsider in our culture.

"We must teach them instead that being stoic, tough and in control means nothing without also being compassionate, thoughtful and kind."

But she also called for frontline services to be effectively funded.

"To create lasting change, ongoing funding for prevention, early intervention, crisis response and recovery are all equally essential."

Remembering Luke

In the decade since her son's murder, Ms Batty said the kindness of others who have experienced similar tragedies has kept her going.

"There's silent language between us, an embrace that lingers just a little longer, the warmth of hands enveloping yours, your pain mirrored back in their eyes and in their hearts."

But the last 10 years have still been heavy with grief.

"Sometimes I think that people forget why they know me, why I'm standing behind a microphone or why I became Australian of the Year in 2015.

"I haven't forgotten though.

"And truth be told, the decade gone by weighs heavily on me in many ways.

"No day goes by when I don't think about Luke.

"No awards, no applause and no accolades will bring him back to me."

Maintaining hope

Ms Batty said preventing people from feeling powerless is key to ending Australia's domestic violence crisis.

"Between many things I've grappled with since Luke's death, large among them is the feeling of absolute despair I carry, that – despite my campaigns, despite the hundreds of speeches I've given, despite marching, crying and shouting from the rooftops about family violence, despite a royal commission and millions of dollars of resources to prevent violence against women – women and children are still being murdered at an alarming rate in Australia.

"When we feel powerless, that sets the stage for inaction.

"Whether you sit in a boardroom, a classroom or a seat on the bus, you have influence and you can contribute to the seismic shift towards a world free from violence."

And she wants people to maintain that hope in the knowledge that improvement is happening.

"Over the past 10 years, we have seen thousands of small steps and it's our job to keep up the momentum and keep up hope.

"Remember that what we're walking towards is a world where all women and children can lead full, happy, productive lives free from the threat of violence."